As any mother of teenagers knows, when puberty creeps into our children’s lives, our little rays of sunshine suddenly begin to break away, become moody and often reject the parental love and authority they once accepted so freely. They begin to walk the plank between childhood and adulthood, seeking new individual identities in the big world.

In this day and age that plank can be treacherous and the crocodiles around it take the guise of drugs, alcohol, sex, arrogance and fashion. Our teens often sacrifice their own morals and intuition in a bid to find a place within their chosen tribe or group. This desperate need for friends and an identity can (and in my case did) separate them from their family. The mixed messages coming at them from the media, misguided heroes, advertising, inadequate schooling and the break down of a sense of community or family values often compounds their challenges. The tribal or family elders, their aunties and grandparents, are often far away or absent.

As parents of teens who make poor choices in an effort to fit in or numb their pain, we can find ourselves on a lonely island, lacking support and understanding. Guilt & shame can creep in, taking us to the lowest point on the emotional scale. This is where I found myself as I sat by the bedside of my 17 year old dying son. I was completely grief struck, stunned and immobilized by shock and pain at his sudden unexpected death.

As an inspirational teacher and healing facilitator, normally joyful and strong, I found myself suddenly at rock bottom. Over the years I have lost a husband, brother and close friends to suicide; however nothing prepares you for the loss of a child.

My journey from that point has been sustained by my absolute faith in the “Immortal Journey of the Soul” and the understanding of impermanence in all things. I know my son is a being of love and the gratitude I hold in my heart for the beauty, fun and laughter as well as the wisdom and sensitivity he shared with me in his childhood, is a profound gift.

My journey back to peace has been one of allowing, acceptance, forgiveness, and releasing the resistance to what IS NOW. A term I coined a few years ago “Resistance to presence creates chaos & pain” has proven itself a thousand fold. My grieving was so important and the journey so profound that I am humbled at the thought of the courage of others who have lost far more than myself.

I see now spirit has prepared me well, with the last 30 years of my life dedicated to a grounded yogic approach to life, always able to see goodness come from all circumstances. My son is free and although I still miss him and it hurts that he has to leave us so young, I feel stronger and more determined than ever to walk in beauty.

A great consolation to me was that he had made an absolute commitment to quit drug & alcohol abuse before he died, thus freeing himself from this karmic debt. Sadly, it was the hospital system he chose to assist him in this that let him down and resulted in his passing. My other children are still with me and my husband has stood by when I felt my legs would no longer hold me. In the sweet surrender of letting go there is a soft landing and I rest with a heart that has come through from grief to gratitude.

The journey of the soul is forever and as the great mystery unfolds in our lives there will be pain and loss, however there are always gifts that will fill us up if we stay conscious. It is my heart felt desire to go on assisting others to leap off the cliff of despair and find their wings to fly again and see that love is all around us.

www.sorayasaraswati.com

Soraya incorporates into her workshops and intuitive healing work the tools of transformation that she has developed throughout her journey.